Address in the Stars: Dear Chance

I wrote you a letter today, but I have no where to send it. There is no address in the stars. Reality is I could send it to God, but it would get no where. It really breaks my heart because in high school I saw you every day if not more. We would hang out at your house in the evenings. 4-H meetings were so much fun. I will always remember being president of Go For Broke and you being Vice President. The one meeting when I told you that you were going to have to run next months meeting and you looked at me like I was crazy. You told me I better cancel whatever plans I had because I had to be the one to run the meeting. But I didn't, and you ran the next meeting just fine. County fair really is unforgettable. Some of the best memories were made at county fair. Watching you show you steers, lambs, and pigs. The water fights, and you putting people in the water trough. Every one loved you. Every one wanted to be your friend. You really were amazing at everything you did, and I am thankful that I had the opportunity to have you in my life.

Chance, you were the most congenial person I know. Our rides to church together, and our long talks. You really helped me to realize what a real Christian is like. We are all sinners and you helped me realize that no one is perfect but that striving to be the best that we can be is what we should do. You were always joking around with every one in Sunday School. In church service, you sang along with the songs just low enough that only the people directly around you could hear. Sometimes you would even just kind of mumble along, but you always at least made it look like you were singing. Every Sunday after church you would pull your roping dummy and rope out of the back of the truck and work on your roping. You would rope the girls. Your laugh is so catching, that is a sound that I will never forget. I wish I could set it as my ring tone, because I know that I would always have a smile on my face.

Before I had my license I would ride with you and Calvin every where. Calvin had his little red car, and you sure loved the emergency brake in that thing. Actually, you loved the emergency brake in every car that you could get your hands on. Going around the corners to your house I would brace myself in the back seat because I knew exactly what was going to happen. We would all laugh as the car screeched around that corner. When I got my license I was so scared that you would do the same thing to my car. And you did. But it was ok, I already knew what to do.

In high school, Florence was known for it's football team. It was team that you played a very large part in. You were the center. My brother played on the team with you too, so did Mike, and so many others. I will never forget your number, 74. Only ten more than Calvin's, 64. Our families had a pregame ritual, ESPECIALLY on Saturday morning games. Your dad and Joe were always the first in line, and I was right behind them. They would have their stereo playing music, sitting in camp chairs with their duct tape and blankets close by. Usually there was a small table too. Your mom would come a little later bearing gifts. Oh, she makes the most delicious biscuits and gravy ever! She would bring breakfast and we would all enjoy it before the game. As soon as the gates opened up we would rush to "our spot" aka "the rowdy section" and tape down our blankets to save enough room for our crowd. Everyone knew they better not sit there "or else" but we taped down blankets to ensure it. The playoffs were the most exciting games of the season, and when you all won the state championship was the best.

After high school, you went to college, and I didn't see you as often. You would come home for the holidays and county fair of course. I regret not going and watching you rodeo, something that you loved so much. I graduated and went to college too. Switched schools a few times. I was working in Fort Collins when I received a text message from my best friend, Jenna, saying "Melissa, people are saying that Chance Threet is dead..." I couldn't even think straight. I couldn't believe it. Instantly I began to cry. I called Calvin, the phone call went like this... "Calvin...." a long pause.... He returned saying, "I know, Melissa, I know." It was then that I fell apart. I told work I had to go and I called my mom. I couldn't think straight, I couldn't believe it. Chance, you were the most amazing person I know, you can't be dead! I will see you at church soon. I will see you at your parents soon. There is no way. It isn't possible. You have a rodeo this weekend, you will be there. You will ride like nothing is wrong. You have so many things going for you, you are almost done with college. All these thoughts ran through my mind. I couldn't believe that after only 20 short years, God called you to join Him in Heaven. They say that only the good die young. You must have accomplished the tasks he had for you.

The next weeks were really kind of a blur. Of course I remember them. I remember being sort of in denial, but wanting to go see your family right away the next day. Amber sat on the couch by your parents. She hardly spoke. It was so devastating to see them hurting. Your mom had a peace about her. Chance, your mom is one of the strongest women that I know. She has built her life around God, and she knew that you were in a better place. Her and I talked a lot and she helped me to know that you were right where you needed to be. We will never know why, except that God had bigger plans for you in Heaven.

So many things have changed since you left. I am now married to Weston, you met him back in high school. He is the one from Pueblo West, he came to church with me a few times, and homecoming. We live in Kentucky by Fort Campbell, and have a beautiful house. We are expecting our first child. I wish you could still be here to share in the joys of our lives. Every once in a while I see a truck that looks just like yours and it brings a tear to my eye because I know deep down that it isn't you. I have dreams about you a lot. Last night in my dream, we were at the Lamar Rodeo sitting next to your mom and you told us both not to worry because you were right there. You told us that you are doing fine and to smile because we will all be reunited one day. I know that you are riding with the best of them up there, Chance. I can just picture you gathered around with Chris Ledoux listening to him sing instead of a CD. You are roping, riding, and having the time of your life. It is not like anything that you experienced on earth, it is something that not even words can explain.

I miss you. I miss hearing your voice, hearing you laugh, hearing you teasing every one. I will forever cherish the memories that I have close to my heart. You will never be forgotten. I really wish that I could send this letter to you and know that you got it and opened the envelope. You would be saying, "Damn, did you have to write a book?!" But again, I know that you are probably reading this as I am typing it and tell me that it is going to be ok. I know I never told you how much you meant to me as a friend and brother, and I pray that you knew, and that you know now. I have learned to never let words go unspoken. I learned to always tell people how much of an impact they have on your life and how much you care about them. You never know when God is going to call your number.

Chance, it has been hard for us here on Earth. I can't say that is gets easier, but I can say that I am learning to cope with you being gone. I pray for your family and friends. I pray for Amber. God gives us challenges in life, but how we handle them makes us who we are. Keep watching over us, Chance. Keep watching over your baby brother. Peyton misses you so much, and he is turning into quite the little man. He looks just like you, he has your personality too. You sure taught him well. I pray that God gives him the courage and strength to live life and be the best that he can be, knowing that his big brother loved him so much. He knows you are in a better place. PJ is so strong.

Keep on riding Cowboy! We miss you CWT! 

 ADDRESS IN THE STARS

I stumbled across your picture today
I could barely breath
The moment stopped me cold,
Grabbed me like a thief.
I dialed your number, but you wouldn't be there
I knew the whole time, but it's still not fair
I just wanted to hear your voice,
I just needed to hear your voice.

What do I do with all I need to say
So much I wanna tell you everyday
Oh it breaks my heart,
I cry these tears in the dark
I write these letters to you,
But they get lost in the blue,
'Cause there's no address in the stars.

Now I'm drivin'
Through the pitch black dark
I'm screaming at the sky
Oh cause it hurts so bad
Everybody tells me
Oh all I need is time
Then the mornin' rolls in
And it hits me again
And that ain't nothin' but a lie.

What do I do with all I need to say
So much I wanna tell you everday
Oh it breaks my heart,
I cry these tears in the dark
I write these letters to you,
But they get lost in the blue,
'Cause there's no address in the stars.

Without you here with me,
I don't know what to do.
I'd give anything
Just to talk to you
Oh it breaks my heart,
Oh it breaks my heart,
All I can do
Is write these letters to you,
But there's no address in the stars.